eBay Genius

OK, so I am looking for a specific size of quill stem for my bike. It is a 21 mm quill diameter with a 26 mm clamp. I saw a 21 mm quill stem on eBay with no specification of the clamp diameter. So I wrote an email to the seller asking for the stem diameter. This thing was a 12" quill, who needs that much rise anyway? Of course it was standard 1" clamp diameter. The email also included two paragraphs on how to measure the handlebar and quill diameter with a piece of paper and a ruler. I obviously know what I have and what I need, does he really think I can't measure the diameter of something.
I felt the need to reply that I had a bike with the old Japanese standard of 21 mm and wanted to use Italian 26 mm handlebars, and that I was going to cut the quill down to more of a standard length. So I get another email back saying that the American standard of clamp diameter is 25.4 mm (or 1"). As if I don't know 1" = 25.4 mm. It also included another paragraph on measuring the circumference and dividing by 3.14. He also listed a few other stems he had that were all 1" clamps.
I felt a third email was necessary. So I said that I was trying to marry two different worlds of cycling production parts, and that it was probably going to be something that I have to machine myself. That garnered a response telling me to check with Harris Cycles. The first place I looked was Sheldon Brown, doesn't everyone.
Sorry, but this guy runs an eBay bike store selling crap parts, and he is talking to me like I am a nitwit. I am an engineer for fuck's sake. Maybe I need to preface every email that I send with a statement clarifying that I am not a moron who failed 6th grade geometry.


And I like the fact that the Blogger spellchecker suggested that I replace "nitwit" with "nudity." That's what the world needs, more nudity! Maybe then people wouldn't let themselves get so damned fat!