Desalting column

Today, I was fluorescently labeling some enzyme in the lab. As a part of the purification process you pass the enzyme solution through a desalting column. This removes the excess dye from the solution and gives you pure, fluorescently labeled protein. I was thinking that I wished they had a desalting column for life. The desalting column works because it is filled with porous beads. As the enzyme solution passes through the column, the large molecules (enzymes) can pass around the porous beads. The smaller molecules like the dye pass through the porous channels in the beads. This results in the smaller molecules having to travel a longer path to get out of the column, and hence they take a longer time. OK, so in a nutshell, a very non-scientific nutshell that's how they work.

Would you want a desalting column for life?

Something that could remove all of the little things that bother you. Not only would the beads have to be porous, they would have to be positively charged to capture only negative little things like poor drivers, missed emails, and long meetings. The positively charged beads would repel, and allow all the little positive things to pass through. That way we wouldn't miss out on the simple pleasures of life.
Also, the column wouldn't filter out the larger problems in life. The positives need some sort of balance, otherwise we would take them for granted. Sometimes big troubles bring families closer together and create new friendships. Life wouldn't be so real without the emotional and physical hardships that we are all required to face at certain points in our lives.
I just want something to remove the little annoyances from my life. Things that really don't deserve our attention, but collectively can take up a significant part of our emotional resources. That way I can focus on the larger issues of life, both positive and negative, while stopping occasionally to enjoy the little pleasures. Oh wouldn't life be grand if this were true. Or would I miss all of those little things that bother me so much now.