The Shrew is Single

Well, it finally happened. The Shrew is single. Although I don't think it occurred the way that I would have liked it to happen.
She has been fairly quiet in the past two weeks. No squealing, no yelling, no banging and moaning. I haven't heard her boyfriend over there. I guess she and he broke up. I have a feeling it was she who kicked him to the curb though, which is really not the way I wanted it to go down. Because, now she can feel superior to him. He really should have done it to her for being such a terrible human being. It justifies her behavior all these months. If he had dumped her, maybe she would have taken a good long look in the mirror and said, "You know what? I am going to change! I am not going to be a miserable bitch who screams about every little thing that goes wrong in my life. I am going to be cheerful. I am not going to belch like a trucker (apologies to any truckers, just steroetyping here), and I am not going thunder through the halls like my daddy owns this building!"
If it only it were that way. Instead, she berates the doorman if he doesn't immediatley recognize her (personally I think he does it for shits and giggles). "I live here! I tell you that everytime you ask me, 'Can I help you?'" She still cranks her tv up. And her new thing is this alarm clock that plays the theme to the Godfather at 6:00 am. Now I would be OK, but she hits snooze, and fucking Don Corleone walks into my bedroom every eight minutes for the next hour and a half! I have to get over there to talk to her about that. I always forget when I get home from work. But, I am reminded at 6:00 am every morning. Damn!

The Center Line

The rain drops fall, making the asphalt slick and oily. The wipers flail to my left, slapping me with water. The brine, running from my helmet to my lips, reminds me of rides past. Slipping between cars and buses, my speed is accentuated by the lack of a steel cage surrounding me. I am free.

Small joy of the day

On my way home tonight, I stopped off at Trader Joe's for some frozen vegetables and assorted meats. I like to hit that place every so often, especially when I can't make it to the local market before it closes. I threw all the frozen food in my bag, threw it on my back, and started pedalling. After about a minute, I noticed a nice, cool sensation across my back. It stayed with me for the rest of my all-too-short ride home. You just can't get that with panniers.

My bank (Citizens) sucks

Yesterday I went to the bank to deposit our IRS refund check. It was made out to both my wife and me. I was the only one who endorsed the check, and they would not let me deposit the check into my account. Both parties have to sign the check. This makes banking inconvenient. If it is made to both of us, why can't only one of us endorse it for deposit? I could see if I were trying to cash the check, but I was trying to put it into my account.
This brings up another point. Three times now, we have tried to add my name to my wife's account and create a joint account. All three times we have left the bank with the assurances that my name is there, and that I will be able to make withdrawals, write checks, and everything else that an account holder can do. Then when I go to withdraw money from the account, the bank won't let me because my name is not on the account. I explain that my name should be on the account. They tell me I have to speak with customer service. Of course, customer service can't do anything because my wife is not there. And, to make matters worse, the account is still under her maiden name. That means she has tried to change her name on the account four times, and it has failed.
I am thinking that it would be easier to just close the accounts and walk across the street to start a new account with another bank.

A murder of crows

So today for some reason I had the line from the Simpsons, "Murder, Marge. A flock of crows is called a murder," stuck in my head. It came from an earlier post on bikeforums about exploding toads. I looked up murder, and found a whole bunch of synonyms for flocks/herds of animals. Some of the more interesting were:

cete,

a company of badgers

exaltation,

a flight of larks

gam,

a school of whales, or a social congregation of whalers, especially at sea

sounder,

a herd of wild boar

That was my edification for the day.

Bike repairs in the lab.

A month or so ago, there was an incident in the lab where one of the gas lines leading to the CVD furnace ruptured. The woman running the furnace just stood there like a bumbling idiot while some sort of gas was just rushing into the room. So, I asked her what type of gas was over there, no answer, just more stammering. Normally there are three gases running; hydrogen, acetylene, and argon. Two out of the three are flammable, so I figure someone should go turn them off. I run over to the tanks to try ot turn it off, only to find out that it was actually ammonia that was leaking. It felt like someone punched me in the face. I ended up going to the hospital for a check-up, but everything was OK.

On Friday the offical incident report was published. No where does the report mention that the person running the experiments was never officially approved by the department chair as a visitng scientist. It does mention that the tubing used was probably insufficient for the application. It also makes a point of noting that "It appeared that someone was performing bicycle repairs in the lab." So, now the only person who is going to catch shit over this whole thing is me, the person making bicycle repairs in the lab. Now this had nothing to do with the incident, and I question the validity of it being included in the official report. I do acknowledge that the lab is not the appropriate place for bicycle repairs, and I have been working this morning to remedy that. However, a corrective action for this situation should hnot have been listed that involved the bikes. It should have been a separate issue.

Middle-Aged Hotness

I just got the Jennifer Anniston email of pictures that she took at Courtney Cox-Arquette's kid's baptism. I have to say that Jennifer is looking pretty sexy still. She is kind of getting that middle-aged hotness. Which is completely different from the young hotness that she used to have. I think I have grown to appreciate the middle-aged hotness more than the young hotness, because it takes so much more to attain and maintain. Young girls have that hotness given to them, often by good genes, it's easy. But, twenty years later you have to be working to acheive that head-turning quality. Eating well, the gym, staying out of too much sun, and (most-key here) having good hair. Some women, once they hit middle-age, they go get some old looking haircut. Ugh. Carmella Soprano (yes, I know she is a character from an HBO show) is a prime example. Here she is getting divorced, back on the market, and what does she do? She get a haircut straight off the Golden Girls set. Women, if you are middle-aged, err on the side of a young haircut. Pick up a copy of seveteen, turn to the photos of the Olsen twins or Lindsey Lohan, take it to your hairdresser, and say, "I want that!"

Two women I can't wait to see in Middle Age - Tiffany Amber Theissen and Melissa Joan Hart. Clarissa can explain it to me all night long!

Good weekend.

I finally got to take the wife to the driving range to bang some range balls. She hadn't swung a club in over a year, since she left Hotlanta. I have to say she did quite well. I was impressed at how well she picked it right back up. I on the other hand hit them like shit. I had this slight cramp in the lawer left abdomen that was bothering me. I stopped swinging after about ten balls, because it has always been my experience that I will do my swing more harm than good by continuing to hit them like shit. But, it didn't matter to me that I didn't get to hit a lot of balls. I just enjoyed watching her hit them and getting her to focus on the fundamentals of her swing. I am looking forward to many more weekend like that this summer.

Pursuing this farther...

So Asli got back to the Super Mario Bros look-a-like that said he was the best at giving women oral pleasure: (I misspelled moustache on purpose)

Hi,

I wanted to get back to you as soon as possible. I am still interested in pursuing this further. I can't host due to my roomie being kind of uptight about me bringing guys home. She would really freak out if she knew we had met on Craig's List too. I have a car, so it is possible for me to go to your place. Of course I would want to meet somewhere in public for a drink to feel you out first. I hope you understand. I want to keep this an internet only thing right now, so I'm going to just try to do this over email.

I've never been with a guy who had a mustache. I imagine it might tickle, but that can be a good thing. Guess I'll just have to wait and see.

AG

So, here is Rrob's response. It sounds to me like he is probably married which makes it all the more sleezy. I can't believe he would get a hotel room on a whim just to meet some chick who might let him lick her.

hi again...thanks for getting back to me. i cant host right now but we can meet some place and go get a room (on me). i know that doesnt sound romantic but for now thats all we can do. drinks sound good. when is a good time for you, and where would you like to meet? and as for my mustache, i KNOW you will like it!
hope to hear from you soon.

rob

I am beginning to wonder if this is some girl on the other end that is just messing with people, like I think I am doing to Rob.

Craig's List Exchange

So, I decided to take the route of answering a Craig's List ad for free oral sex for a woman from a man. I can't really believe that many women contact these guys, so it'll probably get their hopes up. I chose the following listing:

Original CL Posting

Reply to: anon-67973971@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-04-11, 5:15PM EDT

If you like to reveive oral sex, I'm your man!! I'm the BEST, and can go down on you for as long as you can stand it!! You don't have to reciprocate. I don't even have to take off my clothes...all you have to do is ENJOY!!!! Please be height and weight proportionate. Your pic gets mine.

Posing as some 21 year old girl named Asli Guven (apologies to any real Asli Guvens out there) I replied with the following:

Hi,

I saw your CL posting, and it kind of piqued my interest. I am 5' 4", and about 105 lbs, is this proportional enough for you? I have darker hair (reddish to brown depending on time of year), and blue eyes. I am student at one fo the local universities, and I am just looking for some stress relief. I expect someone to be D/D free. I attached a picture (from my last trip out west to visit some friends) sorry it might not be the sexiest, but hopefully it does me justice. I hope you were serious about sending a picture. Maybe we can meet up?

AG

To which the Craig's List poseter responded:

I dont know what you're talking about...you are VERY sexy!! here is my pic...if you are interested PLEASE let me know...i can give you the relief you need!!!! if you like what you see you can call me...610.203.1331 if i dont answer, please leave a message, or you can
e-mail me back and we can take it from there. this is not the best pic of me, i have lost weight since this picture.

RB

I am thinking that we need to set up a date for these two to meet. I wonder where.

No response yet

I haven't had any responses to share from the Craig's List post below. Maybe tomorrow. Or maybe there isn't as much anonymous internet sex going on as I thought there might be. I know that a friend of a friend paid for a woman to fly from Ohio to Nashville, and they just banged all weekend long. Of course, this is a friend of a friend, so it is all just hearsay. And, let me clarify, I in know way will follow through with the post. It is just there for laughs; to see what is out there. I thought about answering a few of the posts on Craig's List to see what people have to say. Maybe I will do that. I can't imagine what will be in those replies. Well, I can, but in some ways that sickens me.

Messing with Craig's List

I am always amazed at the ads in Craig's List for "Casual Encounters." I wondered what type of responses guys who are seeking women get. So, I created the fictional character below. I'll post replies here.

Hi,
I just got out of a long term relationship with a woman I met in undergrad. I am looking for some no-strings attached (unless you are into that!) fun. I guess what this is, is a no-commitment guarantee, and that doesn't depend on what your definition of "is" is. I am 6'0", 185 lbs, with brown hair and blue eyes. D/D free (most important) woman sought. I'll front any charges related to this encounter (i.e. drinks/hotel).

Please no pros.

Hot water

The building in which I work has been without hot water for almost a month now. This is a building which has been recognized asa MRSEC Technology Center and houses multi-million dollar funded research groups. You would think that getting some new heating elements for the boilers would be no problem. But, this is the email that I get today:

"Their is no hot water in the building. The hot water generator is bad. The
unit needs to be replaced. Physical Pant [sic] is getting bids on a replacement.
I have no idea to the time frame."

This is also a building in which we have had to cover up some of our lab equipment because the floor drains from the lab above leak into our lab. Who the hell is running this? How hard is it to get a hot water heater or a replacement elbow joint for a floor drain?

The Shrew and Smoking

So, one of our guests remarked about the proliferation of cigarette butts outside of our doors that open onto the roof. It seems that whenever the Shrew goes outside of her unit to smoke, she just flicks the butts over in front of our door. I also noticed a few match books out on the roof as well. I am thinking of leaving a flower pot with the word ashtray painted on the side to see if she gets the hint. Now is the time to do it, sothat she is in the habit of using the pot before it gets to be spring and I actually want to go out on the roof for nice fresh air.

The same guest also asked if our neighbors had a baby, because we heard some noises that actually did sound a lot like a baby. It turns out that something minor and insignificant happened in the Shrew's life that set her off. She was squealing and grunting and sobbing and shouting the same words over and over. It really did sound like a two year-old with a limited vocabulary having a temper tantrum. We heard her boyfriend tell her to calm down a few times, but to no avail. She got so worked up that all he could do was grunt and breathe heavily. I really haven't seen this type of behavior except in mental patients and over-sugared toddlers. At least now people don't think were nuts for trying to sell our place.

F1 Season is Open

Practice started today for the Grand Prix of Australia in Melbourne. The start of a new season of fun. But, will I get to watch it live, no? I have to go to the bar on Sunday afternoon and catch the tape delay. I could watch it live, but I have a "social function" to host. My fault for not checking the calendar last month when this thing was put together. And damn Comcast for not carrying Speed TV on their Digital Package. Otherwise I could watch it at home, not at a bar. Sipping my 50 cent/bottle beer rather than $4 per draft beer. Damn the bars for greatly overcharging for cheap beer. Maybe I should bring a flask and nurse one beer all afternoon, while retiring to the bathroom every commercial to take a tipple of whisky.

The Bad Plus

Has it really been four weeks? Hmmm.

I have been putting off picking up a CD by The Bad Plus for quite a few months now. But, thanks to my sister and her Border's gift card birthday present it has been accomplished. I got "These are the Vistas" because it was $8.00 cheaper than "Give." I had always heard good things about them, and had been looking for some jazz music that takes chances, but is still grounded in the classic style. That is what these guys are. They talk back and forth with some blistering pace and then quickly shift to reinforcing each other. Dissonance is their friend, but harmony is a little closer to their hips. And, hip they are.

Happy New Year

Ahhh, the Chinese New Year has arrived, the Year of the Cock no less. Last night was filled with Lion Dancers and firecrackers. It sounded a little like Bush had sent in the mighty forces of the US Marines to inavde Chinatown with all of the pops and explosions running through the night. Don't pick Chinese New Year's Eve to try and get to bed early so you can wake early in the morning. It just isn't going to happen. From 10:00 to 12:00 there was the banging of gongs and drums on our street, non-stop. Then as the clock struck midnight, the firecrackers started. The ground was covered in drifts of red paper where last week there had similar drifts of white snow.

So sit back, have a Tsing Tao and this time around, stick to your resolutions!

East-Central Alabama Bands

For anyone who is interested in seeing videos of some of the bands that are currently and have played around East-Central Alabama, check out

"BeBad Entertainment."

I have always been supportive of the ECA music scene, and I am currently working with the webmaster of that site to make available some mp3s of extinct bands from that region. If you have any files that might be of interest to BeBad, please contact them. In my opinion, some of the most unique bands have come from that region:

"ILCK3"

"The Whitey Herzogs"

"The Quadrajets"

"Baby Driver"

Toothless

"Man or Astro-man?"

She was doing so well

I guess The Shrew has been screwed, and I don't mean the good kind of screwing that has her moaning and screaming for three minutes every other day. It appears that the person living above her tried to fix his sink himself and ended up flooding her apartment. This flood ruined, from what I heard through the paper thin walls, her collection of purses and bags. "They're very important to me. I worked hard to collect these bags. Some of them can't be replaced because they are one of a kind." I could also hear that the guy is refusing to reimburse her for them immediately. "A year? A fucking year! I am not going to get my money for a year???!!! This has cost me $8000 so far in lost bags! Fuck him, fuck that motherfucker!"
Now, who in their right mind spends $8000 on purses and bags??? I mean, it would seem to me that this is a case of priorities being a little bit skewed. Granted, I feel bad that her stuff got ruined, and that the guy is being an asshole for not paying her as quickly as possible, but if you have $8000 in purses something is wrong. It is also wrong that she should be shrieking, and causing all her neighbors to deal with her problems. She constantly whines, "What did I ever do to deserve this?" Well for starters, the fact that she is the loudest resident in our building, and causes those around her to suffer is reason enough for me to think that she deserves this.
The best line from the night had to be, "I haven't even tried on half my clothes that got wet. They've probably all shrunk!" I wanted to yell out, "No you've just gotten fatter!"
My wife ran into The Shrew's boyfriend in the hall. He stated that their were workers coming in to fix the water damage, and that maybe The Shrew wouldn't have anything to complain about anymore. My wife said something to the effect of "We're certainly hoping." Now I feel sorry for the guy, having to deal with her firsthand, but it is a burden brought upon himself. He does his best to calm her down. Telling her that she is a child, but she just berates him for taking the side of the guy upstairs. Poor guy. So I really have no problem with him, afterall, last night night he told her she was full of shit. That took some guts. She ended up apologizing to him. I'm still waiting for my apology.

Reply from Wawa

Dear Mr. Elvis:

The Quality Assurance Department would like to thank you for taking the
time to contact us in regards to the Wawa Milk that you purchased at one
of our Wawa stores. We apologize that the product was not of the quality
expected and would like you to know that this situation will be
addressed with Wawa's dairy and the management team at the store. Wawa
Food Markets is committed to serving the freshest & highest quality
products to our customers. We will be sending you Wawa coupons that you
may use at any of our stores so that you have an additional opportunity
to enjoy some of Wawa's fresh and delicious products.

The Wawa Quality Assurance Team would like to thank you for
taking the time to contact us with your comments and concerns!

Two greatest "crap" lines in a movie

I was watching Grumpier Old Men yesterday while waiting for the wife to get out of the shower. It was on HBO early in the morning. Burgess Meredith was in it, and it occurred to me that he has the two greatest "crap" line in a movie.
The first is from Grumpy Old Men, and I think of it every time I count out some change. I do that a lot, as I try to use up my change as much as possible. Sometimes it annoys the folks at the register when you use 19 nickels and 4 pennies to pay for something that is $0.99.

"Relax. Kids swallow quarters all the time.... Sure! If she craps out two dimes and a nickel, then you can start worrying, huh?"

His other great line comes from Rocky, probably his most memorable role too. When he's trying to toughen Rocky up he tells him, "You're gonna eat lightnin' and you're gonna crap thunder!" I couldn't find a sound clip of it, too bad. For a little guy, he sure could motivate, probably better than that Tony Robbins guy. I could use someone like him in my lab.

Letter to Wawa

Dear Wawa,
I am not often moved enough to write a letter of complaint, but your store at 1038 Arch Street, Philadelphia, PA has been leaving me in a state of disgust lately. I have always had pleasant experiences with Wawas across the Mid-Atlantic, whether I am stopping in for gas, milk, or sandwiches. However, this particular store has had problems since my first visit there back in August, 2004.
My first complaint is with the freshness of dairy products being sold in the store. Often times when I go to purchase milk, the available bottles are past their "Sell By" date. The first time it happened, I chalked it up to a one time incident, but it has occurred several times in the past few months. Other area stores, such as CVS and Rite-Aid, usually carry milk that has at least five days left on the "Sell By" date. I am now making the extra two-block walk to those stores to purchase milk. It seems that this is a problem that could be solved by adjusting store inventory and delivery schedules.
The second complaint that I have deals with the friendliness of the some of the staff there. When attempting to pay with large ($20) bills or change, customers are often met with the attitude that it is a large problem to make or count change. The other day, my wife attempted to pay for two bottles of soda with a $10 bill. The employee could not find the "counterfeit detecting" marker and was refusing to take the bill. He finally relented when my wife suggested that she could go to the Wawa ATM and retrieve a $20 from it to pay. I guess it would have meant that he would have had to count out even more change!
I am only writing this because I have had nothing but positive experiences at other Wawas, and I believe that with a little effort the 1038 Arch Street location could be brought up to that same level of customer service that Wawa provides at its other locations.

Thank you for the opportunity to express my views.

And The Bar Kays... Wont Play... Soul Finger...

A feeling of helplessnes is overcoming me as I sit here writing this. Actually it has already overcome, and I am writing this a distract tion to get my mind off it. I also put on some music to try to get this sensation out of my stomach. The ILCK song "Let's Get Killed" usually puts me in a good mood, but it still hasn't come up on the shuffle of my playlist. Right now the Streets' "Fit But You Know It" is on, still a good song, but not what I need right now.
I should hit the forward button, but I have this thing about hurrying the media player through the playlist. Some little obsession that if I hit the forward button, I am ruining the anticipation leading up to the song I really want to hear. So I will just sit here and type away at this until I feel the giant thunder of Chet's Moon Dog through a bass amp hit my ear drums.
The DT's "Proud Man", well maybe one more song and it will come on.***
Proud. Am I proud right now? No. What I have I got to show for myself. Other than my wife, that is. I have no papers published, one poster presentation at a conference, and I haven't started the work I said I would start on Monday.
Here it is. Granted I haven't uploaded the EFUB version, just the Peel Sessions version. Still a rocking song, but not the best version
*** Ooh I ask for water, gave me gasoline ***
I think I am drinking too much... Dr. Pepper that is. Currently there are four bottles on my desk in various states of completion. Three are from today. I have this jittery feeling in my arms and in my chest that doesn't usually go away until I wake up the next morning. Then it is a another 60 - 72 oz. of Dr. Pepper throughout the day. I am sure the folks in Plano love people like me, but this has got to be adding to my health issues. I think I felt better overall when I was drinking that much beer every day.
*** OOh I ask for teachers, I get politicians ***
Isn't it true how much of life is governed by politics. And I'm not even talking about elections and laws. I am talking about everything that matters. I haven't done my thesis proposal yet, I get sideways glances from the chair all the time about it. Meanwhile he has two students who have been here one and two years longer than me respectively. They just gave their proposals within the last two months. Do you think they get the same looks? They should be getting it worse.
*** I ask for salvation, and I get stoned ***

Hockey, Hospitals, and Houses

This has been a year to rival 1986 for me. The Pats are back in the Superbowl, The Sox won the World Series, and Auburn finished 13-0. Now if the C's can just finish over 0.500 for the season my glow would shine a bit brighter. I guess I am forgetting about hockey, as most of the nation has. Too bad, the owners are only hurting themsleves, as are the players. Hopefully it won't die like women's soccer has.
The roads today were awful, and not having anything but 23 mm slicks on my bike, I didn't feel like braving it up to work. The last thing I need right now is a hospital bill. So it was back on my favorite metal box, SEPTA.
We are also semi-house hunting. We went out in the snow to see a few with our realtor. I noticed that every house we saw had a similar smell to it. They all smelled different, but only slightly. It was this wierd pet/onion/B.O. smell, that occurred no matter what section of the city we were in. I wonder if our condo will smell like that to someone else. I mean, I once broke up with a girl because I didn't like the smell of her apartment. Not that it was disgusting, I just didn't like it. People try to cover those scents with pot pouri, but you can still sense it, hiding behind the dried cinnamon and flowers. How long does it take to go away???

Truly Freezing?

The other night, the local new channel (Fox 29 for those wondering) was doing a story on how the cold was affecting the city. Granted they did provide a small amount of coverage on how the homeless shelters are completely open at these temperatures and on the dangers of carbon monoxide poisoning from heaters, but most of their coverage was about how it was affecting people who don't really suffer from the extreme cold.

"The cold is making it brutal for college students."

What kind of headline is that? Oh, the poor college students are cold as they scurry from their heated dorms to the heated classrooms. I think the university at which I work has made me completely apathetic to the droning complaints of undergraduates. There are tons of kids here dressed entirely in Polo, Nautica, and Brooks Bros. They whine when you give them homework that actually requires them to decipher a periodic table or, Heaven forbid, look up the volume formula for a cone! Next thing you know there will be headlines like, "Beer is making it difficult for students to get up for early morning classes." Worthless news. (Oxymoron!) The best part was that they ended the report with a shot of two people smoking with the announcer saying, "These two were able to brave the cold for a quick smoke." Fucking heroes for going out into the cold to kill themselves. Bravo, Fox!

Subway etiquette

Why is it that people who live in this city have trouble with Subway etiquette?

It never fails that as soon as the door opens, the people on the platform are trying their hardest to get in the car. No matter how many people need to get out. I was waiting outside the door to let riders exit before I got on, and this lady started pushing me from behind to try to get on. The driver will not leave the station while people are still trying to get off. You will get on the subway. Just wait your turn.

So now, everyone has gotten off the subway that needed to. It is my turn to enter. About three people who had shoved their way on before me stopped as soon as they got in the doors, refusing to move farther down the aisle to let others on. So I say excuse me and try to slip by them. They all give me rude looks as I try to get down the aisle. I made sure my bag hit at least one of them in the shoulder, some woman who wouldn't even acknowledge me when I excused myself. These people must think that if they move down the aisle a bit, or even shift a few inches to let me by, they will miss their stop. Now, I have always been able to get off the subway, no matter how crowded it is. And these aren't tourists either, but people who have lived here all their lives.

I hate the fcking subway system in this city. This is why I love riding my bike. It may take me a few minutes longer than the subway, but at least I don't have to deal with fat, smelly, selfish people who can't seem to gather the notion of what living in a society truly means. The subway is like a little micro-society. You can tell that these people who act like this on the subway act the same way out there in the world.

Nature's contempt for man. Or, Why I love the web.

My face felt fine at first, my chin tucked into the collar of my jacket, and my hat pulled low over my eyebrows. A constant wind from my left was taunting me the entire time. I refused to let it know that I noticed its presence. Looking straight ahead, not flinching one way or the other. A look to the left, and it would know I was searching for a sign that it would relent. A look to the right, and it would know that I was trying to hide from its stinging jab. I took a militaristic approach to waiting the wind out; straight ahead, eyes on the target, blocking all outside influences.
As time dragged on, the wind became more persistent. A light snow began to fall, further proving Nature's contempt for man today. The wind found ways beneath my defenses; the holes between the zipper's teeth and the gaps between the jacket's hem and my legs. It swirled up into my jacket, taking heat from my body and gently warming itself next to my skin. Others around me were defeated and left their desires unfulfilled. Still I waited.
Finally, the call came from within the weary, white truck. My time had come, my etched, pale hand reached into my pocket to remove what little money I had. The bills had become intertwined with my keys, the numbness in my fingers making it all the more difficult to remove them. I reached out, dropping the money into the woman's hand. She handed me my prize, wrapped in a white plastic bag.
I turned to leave, my back to my enemy, defiant. The wind, sensing that it had been beaten back during this skirmish swung around the building in haste, leaving the alley in a vacuum. The small flurries swirled upward bereft of gravity. The steps came easily to me, striding forward towards the open pass at the top of the alley. That is when the wind would strike. It had shifted and was driving the snow across the mouth of the alley in a horizontal assault on my weakened left side.
But, now my mission would allow me to turn and face the enemy head-on. I trudged into the brunt of the wind and snow, ducking my head below the crystalline barrage. Across the open streets and lots, spent flurries dancing at my feet. Until finally, the door to warmth was reached. Keys in hand, I was feeling the warmth before I even stepped inside.

I guess this a really bad way to describe my 10 minutes outside to get a bowl of wonton soup and a couple of egg rolls. God I love the web.

Snow brings an end to Peyton's reign!

MVP in this case must stand for Most oVer-rated Player. He deserves to start for the AFC in the Pro Bowl. He will perform wonderfully in the 80 degree Hawaiian weather. However, the only way that he will ever win a Super Bowl is if the Colts end up with home field advantage all the way through the playoffs, and if the big game is in a dome. He spent 8 of his 15 games in domes, and another 4 in what we'll call the South. His only visits to typically cold weather climes (Foxboro and Chicago) occurred, respectively, in the summer and against a God-awful team.
He handled himself well against the Pats the first time around. I actually planned the travel for my honeymoon such that we had a layover during the game. (I somehow managed to watch the Pats and two of three Sox v. Yanks games during the honeymoon w/out cutting into the amourous adventures of Us) New England showed that they were a better TEAM that week. This time around, the Pats had to go out and, for some reason, re-prove to everyone that they are a great TEAM. It was like the media had forgotten the Pats as a TEAM, because Manning threw for all those TDs. The lone bright spot for Indy in this game was Vander Jerk hitting a FG in relatively tough conditions.
So this morning the Pats are where they should be; 3-point favorites, on the road, against Pittsburgh. They are prediciting snow for that weekend in the Steel City, although that is a week away. I think this will be Big Ben's reality check. The Pats have Dillon, the defense is playing at a level like no other (without their starting CBs!), and Brady is getting the job done. I am looking forward to it.
And, by the way, Sean Salisbury's apology on Sportscenter this morning was noted by this Pat's fan. He will never pick against NE again this year. Not in our house, not on our watch. Bring us Philly.

A weekend away from The Shrew

I have a weekend away from The Shrew. We are heading up to my parents for a late-Christmas. I just hope that we get out of the airport on time. The last two trips to the airport have resulted in a combined 13 hours of delays.
The Shrew is free to bitch and moan all she wants. They can have loud raucous sex, and she can cry all she wants when the Eagles lose. Ha!

Starting this up again

From the response to a posting on bikeforums.net about that bitch of a neighbor of mine, people seem interested in hearing what she has to say. I am setting up an mp3 recorder in my domicile to record the ambient noise, which often includes here screaming.
Last night, we met with a realtor about selling the place. She (The Shrew) was doing so well, keeping realtively quiet, until she tried to send an email. Just as the realtor was getting ready to leave, she starts shreiking, "Work, work, work! Damnit! Why won't this fucking email send? " It was about a mintue and half of straight yelling that her email won't go through. You could hear her banging her mouse and keyboard. The realtor just looked at us, "It will be nice to get away from that..." I am thinking that I will need to slip her a twenty, and tell her to take a walk around the block when we have an open house. Besides she could stand to lose the weight.