A feeling of helplessnes is overcoming me as I sit here writing this. Actually it has already overcome, and I am writing this a distract tion to get my mind off it. I also put on some music to try to get this sensation out of my stomach. The ILCK song "Let's Get Killed" usually puts me in a good mood, but it still hasn't come up on the shuffle of my playlist. Right now the Streets' "Fit But You Know It" is on, still a good song, but not what I need right now.
I should hit the forward button, but I have this thing about hurrying the media player through the playlist. Some little obsession that if I hit the forward button, I am ruining the anticipation leading up to the song I really want to hear. So I will just sit here and type away at this until I feel the giant thunder of Chet's Moon Dog through a bass amp hit my ear drums.
The DT's "Proud Man", well maybe one more song and it will come on.***
Proud. Am I proud right now? No. What I have I got to show for myself. Other than my wife, that is. I have no papers published, one poster presentation at a conference, and I haven't started the work I said I would start on Monday.
Here it is. Granted I haven't uploaded the EFUB version, just the Peel Sessions version. Still a rocking song, but not the best version
*** Ooh I ask for water, gave me gasoline ***
I think I am drinking too much... Dr. Pepper that is. Currently there are four bottles on my desk in various states of completion. Three are from today. I have this jittery feeling in my arms and in my chest that doesn't usually go away until I wake up the next morning. Then it is a another 60 - 72 oz. of Dr. Pepper throughout the day. I am sure the folks in Plano love people like me, but this has got to be adding to my health issues. I think I felt better overall when I was drinking that much beer every day.
*** OOh I ask for teachers, I get politicians ***
Isn't it true how much of life is governed by politics. And I'm not even talking about elections and laws. I am talking about everything that matters. I haven't done my thesis proposal yet, I get sideways glances from the chair all the time about it. Meanwhile he has two students who have been here one and two years longer than me respectively. They just gave their proposals within the last two months. Do you think they get the same looks? They should be getting it worse.
*** I ask for salvation, and I get stoned ***
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