This morning was the first morning where I walked out the door and didn't think, "It's a tit bit nipply out." It was nice to feel the warm spring air outside, despite having to get into a car to go to the gym. I would much rather be riding my bike than driving a car, but the wife went to the gym too so that necessitated the car. Her bag is too big for her to handle on a bike. So many hair products and make-up, I can't even fathom needing all that shit every morning.
I did get out and ride to work on Wednesday morning, and man had I forgotten how hard my saddle was. It wasn't the ride to work that was bad, but it was the ride home that really hurt. My ass felt every little bump in the road. I guess it will take a week or two to get used to it.

Update and blogging for me?

I am not sure if blogging is good for me, but at least it gives me an outlet through which to vent. I have noticed that since I stopped blogging, I seem to have more stress. Now, that maybe because I stopped blogging due to all the shit that I have to do, which in turn could be the real source of my stress. But, hey, blogging can't hurt.

Now, in the past, most of my blog has dealt with the Shrew and her constant annoyance of my wife and me. Well, I am happy to report that we are Shrew free since July 15, 2005. We sold our condo and moved to a house that is still in the city limits. While I know the Shrew was a source of constant pain for me, she also gave me some great stories. I do kind of miss her in that respect.

We sold our condo to a med student at one fo the local universities here. Now, our condo had a Yahoo! group where people kvetched about various problems and issues. I am still a member on it, and I go there to read all the shit that makes me glad we left. One day I come across a post from our nextdoor neighbor, the quiet ones not the Shrew. Here is the post:

I am curious to know if there is a specific procedure for making
noise complaints and also if there are any condo association
penalties for being disruptively loud. It is currently 3:30 in the
morning and my neighbor's party is still going strong. I politely
asked that they keep the noise down and that produced no result. I
just went to the front desk, but the security guard told me that he
had already been up three times to ask my neighbor to quiet down
(apparently he had received other complaints) and there was little
left for him to do.

This post brought me great joy as it was obviously the guy to whom we sold the condo. Now, I feel bad for the quiet neighbors, but this also means that the Shrew had to deal with the noise all night long too! Awesome. Too bad that I haven't seen any more posts of that nature. I was hoping he would throw wild sex orgies every week, and drive the Shrew out. Vengeance is mine!

Blogging good for me?

I am not sure if blogging is good for me, but at least it gives me an outlet through which to vent. I have noticed that since I stopped blogging, I seem to have more stress. Now, that maybe because I stopped blogging due to all the shit that I have to do, which in turn could be the real source of my stress. But, hey, blogging can't hurt.

Now, in the past, most of my blog has dealt with the Shrew and her constant annoyance of my wife and me. Well, I am happy to report that we are Shrew free since July 15, 2005. We sold our condo and moved to a house that is still in the city limits. While I know the Shrew was a source of constant pain for me, she also gave me some great stories. I do kind of miss her in that respect.

We sold our condo to a med student at one fo the local universities here. Now, our condo had a Yahoo! group where people kvetched about various problems and issues. I am still a member on it, and I go there to read all the shit that makes me glad we left. One day I come across a post from our nextdoor neighbor, the quiet ones not the Shrew. Here is the post:

I am curious to know if there is a specific procedure for making
noise complaints and also if there are any condo association
penalties for being disruptively loud. It is currently 3:30 in the
morning and my neighbor's party is still going strong. I politely
asked that they keep the noise down and that produced no result. I
just went to the front desk, but the security guard told me that he
had already been up three times to ask my neighbor to quiet down
(apparently he had received other complaints) and there was little
left for him to do.

This post brought me great joy as it was obviously the guy to whom we sold the condo. Now, I feel bad for the quiet neighbors, but this also means that the Shrew had to deal with the noise all night long too! Awesome. Too bad that I haven't seen any more posts of that nature. I was hoping he would throw wild sex orgies every week, and drive the Shrew out. Vengeance is mine!

The Shrew is Single

Well, it finally happened. The Shrew is single. Although I don't think it occurred the way that I would have liked it to happen.
She has been fairly quiet in the past two weeks. No squealing, no yelling, no banging and moaning. I haven't heard her boyfriend over there. I guess she and he broke up. I have a feeling it was she who kicked him to the curb though, which is really not the way I wanted it to go down. Because, now she can feel superior to him. He really should have done it to her for being such a terrible human being. It justifies her behavior all these months. If he had dumped her, maybe she would have taken a good long look in the mirror and said, "You know what? I am going to change! I am not going to be a miserable bitch who screams about every little thing that goes wrong in my life. I am going to be cheerful. I am not going to belch like a trucker (apologies to any truckers, just steroetyping here), and I am not going thunder through the halls like my daddy owns this building!"
If it only it were that way. Instead, she berates the doorman if he doesn't immediatley recognize her (personally I think he does it for shits and giggles). "I live here! I tell you that everytime you ask me, 'Can I help you?'" She still cranks her tv up. And her new thing is this alarm clock that plays the theme to the Godfather at 6:00 am. Now I would be OK, but she hits snooze, and fucking Don Corleone walks into my bedroom every eight minutes for the next hour and a half! I have to get over there to talk to her about that. I always forget when I get home from work. But, I am reminded at 6:00 am every morning. Damn!

The Center Line

The rain drops fall, making the asphalt slick and oily. The wipers flail to my left, slapping me with water. The brine, running from my helmet to my lips, reminds me of rides past. Slipping between cars and buses, my speed is accentuated by the lack of a steel cage surrounding me. I am free.

Small joy of the day

On my way home tonight, I stopped off at Trader Joe's for some frozen vegetables and assorted meats. I like to hit that place every so often, especially when I can't make it to the local market before it closes. I threw all the frozen food in my bag, threw it on my back, and started pedalling. After about a minute, I noticed a nice, cool sensation across my back. It stayed with me for the rest of my all-too-short ride home. You just can't get that with panniers.

My bank (Citizens) sucks

Yesterday I went to the bank to deposit our IRS refund check. It was made out to both my wife and me. I was the only one who endorsed the check, and they would not let me deposit the check into my account. Both parties have to sign the check. This makes banking inconvenient. If it is made to both of us, why can't only one of us endorse it for deposit? I could see if I were trying to cash the check, but I was trying to put it into my account.
This brings up another point. Three times now, we have tried to add my name to my wife's account and create a joint account. All three times we have left the bank with the assurances that my name is there, and that I will be able to make withdrawals, write checks, and everything else that an account holder can do. Then when I go to withdraw money from the account, the bank won't let me because my name is not on the account. I explain that my name should be on the account. They tell me I have to speak with customer service. Of course, customer service can't do anything because my wife is not there. And, to make matters worse, the account is still under her maiden name. That means she has tried to change her name on the account four times, and it has failed.
I am thinking that it would be easier to just close the accounts and walk across the street to start a new account with another bank.

A murder of crows

So today for some reason I had the line from the Simpsons, "Murder, Marge. A flock of crows is called a murder," stuck in my head. It came from an earlier post on bikeforums about exploding toads. I looked up murder, and found a whole bunch of synonyms for flocks/herds of animals. Some of the more interesting were:

cete,

a company of badgers

exaltation,

a flight of larks

gam,

a school of whales, or a social congregation of whalers, especially at sea

sounder,

a herd of wild boar

That was my edification for the day.

Bike repairs in the lab.

A month or so ago, there was an incident in the lab where one of the gas lines leading to the CVD furnace ruptured. The woman running the furnace just stood there like a bumbling idiot while some sort of gas was just rushing into the room. So, I asked her what type of gas was over there, no answer, just more stammering. Normally there are three gases running; hydrogen, acetylene, and argon. Two out of the three are flammable, so I figure someone should go turn them off. I run over to the tanks to try ot turn it off, only to find out that it was actually ammonia that was leaking. It felt like someone punched me in the face. I ended up going to the hospital for a check-up, but everything was OK.

On Friday the offical incident report was published. No where does the report mention that the person running the experiments was never officially approved by the department chair as a visitng scientist. It does mention that the tubing used was probably insufficient for the application. It also makes a point of noting that "It appeared that someone was performing bicycle repairs in the lab." So, now the only person who is going to catch shit over this whole thing is me, the person making bicycle repairs in the lab. Now this had nothing to do with the incident, and I question the validity of it being included in the official report. I do acknowledge that the lab is not the appropriate place for bicycle repairs, and I have been working this morning to remedy that. However, a corrective action for this situation should hnot have been listed that involved the bikes. It should have been a separate issue.

Middle-Aged Hotness

I just got the Jennifer Anniston email of pictures that she took at Courtney Cox-Arquette's kid's baptism. I have to say that Jennifer is looking pretty sexy still. She is kind of getting that middle-aged hotness. Which is completely different from the young hotness that she used to have. I think I have grown to appreciate the middle-aged hotness more than the young hotness, because it takes so much more to attain and maintain. Young girls have that hotness given to them, often by good genes, it's easy. But, twenty years later you have to be working to acheive that head-turning quality. Eating well, the gym, staying out of too much sun, and (most-key here) having good hair. Some women, once they hit middle-age, they go get some old looking haircut. Ugh. Carmella Soprano (yes, I know she is a character from an HBO show) is a prime example. Here she is getting divorced, back on the market, and what does she do? She get a haircut straight off the Golden Girls set. Women, if you are middle-aged, err on the side of a young haircut. Pick up a copy of seveteen, turn to the photos of the Olsen twins or Lindsey Lohan, take it to your hairdresser, and say, "I want that!"

Two women I can't wait to see in Middle Age - Tiffany Amber Theissen and Melissa Joan Hart. Clarissa can explain it to me all night long!

Good weekend.

I finally got to take the wife to the driving range to bang some range balls. She hadn't swung a club in over a year, since she left Hotlanta. I have to say she did quite well. I was impressed at how well she picked it right back up. I on the other hand hit them like shit. I had this slight cramp in the lawer left abdomen that was bothering me. I stopped swinging after about ten balls, because it has always been my experience that I will do my swing more harm than good by continuing to hit them like shit. But, it didn't matter to me that I didn't get to hit a lot of balls. I just enjoyed watching her hit them and getting her to focus on the fundamentals of her swing. I am looking forward to many more weekend like that this summer.

Pursuing this farther...

So Asli got back to the Super Mario Bros look-a-like that said he was the best at giving women oral pleasure: (I misspelled moustache on purpose)

Hi,

I wanted to get back to you as soon as possible. I am still interested in pursuing this further. I can't host due to my roomie being kind of uptight about me bringing guys home. She would really freak out if she knew we had met on Craig's List too. I have a car, so it is possible for me to go to your place. Of course I would want to meet somewhere in public for a drink to feel you out first. I hope you understand. I want to keep this an internet only thing right now, so I'm going to just try to do this over email.

I've never been with a guy who had a mustache. I imagine it might tickle, but that can be a good thing. Guess I'll just have to wait and see.

AG

So, here is Rrob's response. It sounds to me like he is probably married which makes it all the more sleezy. I can't believe he would get a hotel room on a whim just to meet some chick who might let him lick her.

hi again...thanks for getting back to me. i cant host right now but we can meet some place and go get a room (on me). i know that doesnt sound romantic but for now thats all we can do. drinks sound good. when is a good time for you, and where would you like to meet? and as for my mustache, i KNOW you will like it!
hope to hear from you soon.

rob

I am beginning to wonder if this is some girl on the other end that is just messing with people, like I think I am doing to Rob.

Craig's List Exchange

So, I decided to take the route of answering a Craig's List ad for free oral sex for a woman from a man. I can't really believe that many women contact these guys, so it'll probably get their hopes up. I chose the following listing:

Original CL Posting

Reply to: anon-67973971@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-04-11, 5:15PM EDT

If you like to reveive oral sex, I'm your man!! I'm the BEST, and can go down on you for as long as you can stand it!! You don't have to reciprocate. I don't even have to take off my clothes...all you have to do is ENJOY!!!! Please be height and weight proportionate. Your pic gets mine.

Posing as some 21 year old girl named Asli Guven (apologies to any real Asli Guvens out there) I replied with the following:

Hi,

I saw your CL posting, and it kind of piqued my interest. I am 5' 4", and about 105 lbs, is this proportional enough for you? I have darker hair (reddish to brown depending on time of year), and blue eyes. I am student at one fo the local universities, and I am just looking for some stress relief. I expect someone to be D/D free. I attached a picture (from my last trip out west to visit some friends) sorry it might not be the sexiest, but hopefully it does me justice. I hope you were serious about sending a picture. Maybe we can meet up?

AG

To which the Craig's List poseter responded:

I dont know what you're talking about...you are VERY sexy!! here is my pic...if you are interested PLEASE let me know...i can give you the relief you need!!!! if you like what you see you can call me...610.203.1331 if i dont answer, please leave a message, or you can
e-mail me back and we can take it from there. this is not the best pic of me, i have lost weight since this picture.

RB

I am thinking that we need to set up a date for these two to meet. I wonder where.

No response yet

I haven't had any responses to share from the Craig's List post below. Maybe tomorrow. Or maybe there isn't as much anonymous internet sex going on as I thought there might be. I know that a friend of a friend paid for a woman to fly from Ohio to Nashville, and they just banged all weekend long. Of course, this is a friend of a friend, so it is all just hearsay. And, let me clarify, I in know way will follow through with the post. It is just there for laughs; to see what is out there. I thought about answering a few of the posts on Craig's List to see what people have to say. Maybe I will do that. I can't imagine what will be in those replies. Well, I can, but in some ways that sickens me.

Messing with Craig's List

I am always amazed at the ads in Craig's List for "Casual Encounters." I wondered what type of responses guys who are seeking women get. So, I created the fictional character below. I'll post replies here.

Hi,
I just got out of a long term relationship with a woman I met in undergrad. I am looking for some no-strings attached (unless you are into that!) fun. I guess what this is, is a no-commitment guarantee, and that doesn't depend on what your definition of "is" is. I am 6'0", 185 lbs, with brown hair and blue eyes. D/D free (most important) woman sought. I'll front any charges related to this encounter (i.e. drinks/hotel).

Please no pros.

Hot water

The building in which I work has been without hot water for almost a month now. This is a building which has been recognized asa MRSEC Technology Center and houses multi-million dollar funded research groups. You would think that getting some new heating elements for the boilers would be no problem. But, this is the email that I get today:

"Their is no hot water in the building. The hot water generator is bad. The
unit needs to be replaced. Physical Pant [sic] is getting bids on a replacement.
I have no idea to the time frame."

This is also a building in which we have had to cover up some of our lab equipment because the floor drains from the lab above leak into our lab. Who the hell is running this? How hard is it to get a hot water heater or a replacement elbow joint for a floor drain?

The Shrew and Smoking

So, one of our guests remarked about the proliferation of cigarette butts outside of our doors that open onto the roof. It seems that whenever the Shrew goes outside of her unit to smoke, she just flicks the butts over in front of our door. I also noticed a few match books out on the roof as well. I am thinking of leaving a flower pot with the word ashtray painted on the side to see if she gets the hint. Now is the time to do it, sothat she is in the habit of using the pot before it gets to be spring and I actually want to go out on the roof for nice fresh air.

The same guest also asked if our neighbors had a baby, because we heard some noises that actually did sound a lot like a baby. It turns out that something minor and insignificant happened in the Shrew's life that set her off. She was squealing and grunting and sobbing and shouting the same words over and over. It really did sound like a two year-old with a limited vocabulary having a temper tantrum. We heard her boyfriend tell her to calm down a few times, but to no avail. She got so worked up that all he could do was grunt and breathe heavily. I really haven't seen this type of behavior except in mental patients and over-sugared toddlers. At least now people don't think were nuts for trying to sell our place.

F1 Season is Open

Practice started today for the Grand Prix of Australia in Melbourne. The start of a new season of fun. But, will I get to watch it live, no? I have to go to the bar on Sunday afternoon and catch the tape delay. I could watch it live, but I have a "social function" to host. My fault for not checking the calendar last month when this thing was put together. And damn Comcast for not carrying Speed TV on their Digital Package. Otherwise I could watch it at home, not at a bar. Sipping my 50 cent/bottle beer rather than $4 per draft beer. Damn the bars for greatly overcharging for cheap beer. Maybe I should bring a flask and nurse one beer all afternoon, while retiring to the bathroom every commercial to take a tipple of whisky.

The Bad Plus

Has it really been four weeks? Hmmm.

I have been putting off picking up a CD by The Bad Plus for quite a few months now. But, thanks to my sister and her Border's gift card birthday present it has been accomplished. I got "These are the Vistas" because it was $8.00 cheaper than "Give." I had always heard good things about them, and had been looking for some jazz music that takes chances, but is still grounded in the classic style. That is what these guys are. They talk back and forth with some blistering pace and then quickly shift to reinforcing each other. Dissonance is their friend, but harmony is a little closer to their hips. And, hip they are.

Happy New Year

Ahhh, the Chinese New Year has arrived, the Year of the Cock no less. Last night was filled with Lion Dancers and firecrackers. It sounded a little like Bush had sent in the mighty forces of the US Marines to inavde Chinatown with all of the pops and explosions running through the night. Don't pick Chinese New Year's Eve to try and get to bed early so you can wake early in the morning. It just isn't going to happen. From 10:00 to 12:00 there was the banging of gongs and drums on our street, non-stop. Then as the clock struck midnight, the firecrackers started. The ground was covered in drifts of red paper where last week there had similar drifts of white snow.

So sit back, have a Tsing Tao and this time around, stick to your resolutions!