A murder of crows

So today for some reason I had the line from the Simpsons, "Murder, Marge. A flock of crows is called a murder," stuck in my head. It came from an earlier post on bikeforums about exploding toads. I looked up murder, and found a whole bunch of synonyms for flocks/herds of animals. Some of the more interesting were:

cete,

a company of badgers

exaltation,

a flight of larks

gam,

a school of whales, or a social congregation of whalers, especially at sea

sounder,

a herd of wild boar

That was my edification for the day.

Bike repairs in the lab.

A month or so ago, there was an incident in the lab where one of the gas lines leading to the CVD furnace ruptured. The woman running the furnace just stood there like a bumbling idiot while some sort of gas was just rushing into the room. So, I asked her what type of gas was over there, no answer, just more stammering. Normally there are three gases running; hydrogen, acetylene, and argon. Two out of the three are flammable, so I figure someone should go turn them off. I run over to the tanks to try ot turn it off, only to find out that it was actually ammonia that was leaking. It felt like someone punched me in the face. I ended up going to the hospital for a check-up, but everything was OK.

On Friday the offical incident report was published. No where does the report mention that the person running the experiments was never officially approved by the department chair as a visitng scientist. It does mention that the tubing used was probably insufficient for the application. It also makes a point of noting that "It appeared that someone was performing bicycle repairs in the lab." So, now the only person who is going to catch shit over this whole thing is me, the person making bicycle repairs in the lab. Now this had nothing to do with the incident, and I question the validity of it being included in the official report. I do acknowledge that the lab is not the appropriate place for bicycle repairs, and I have been working this morning to remedy that. However, a corrective action for this situation should hnot have been listed that involved the bikes. It should have been a separate issue.

Middle-Aged Hotness

I just got the Jennifer Anniston email of pictures that she took at Courtney Cox-Arquette's kid's baptism. I have to say that Jennifer is looking pretty sexy still. She is kind of getting that middle-aged hotness. Which is completely different from the young hotness that she used to have. I think I have grown to appreciate the middle-aged hotness more than the young hotness, because it takes so much more to attain and maintain. Young girls have that hotness given to them, often by good genes, it's easy. But, twenty years later you have to be working to acheive that head-turning quality. Eating well, the gym, staying out of too much sun, and (most-key here) having good hair. Some women, once they hit middle-age, they go get some old looking haircut. Ugh. Carmella Soprano (yes, I know she is a character from an HBO show) is a prime example. Here she is getting divorced, back on the market, and what does she do? She get a haircut straight off the Golden Girls set. Women, if you are middle-aged, err on the side of a young haircut. Pick up a copy of seveteen, turn to the photos of the Olsen twins or Lindsey Lohan, take it to your hairdresser, and say, "I want that!"

Two women I can't wait to see in Middle Age - Tiffany Amber Theissen and Melissa Joan Hart. Clarissa can explain it to me all night long!

Good weekend.

I finally got to take the wife to the driving range to bang some range balls. She hadn't swung a club in over a year, since she left Hotlanta. I have to say she did quite well. I was impressed at how well she picked it right back up. I on the other hand hit them like shit. I had this slight cramp in the lawer left abdomen that was bothering me. I stopped swinging after about ten balls, because it has always been my experience that I will do my swing more harm than good by continuing to hit them like shit. But, it didn't matter to me that I didn't get to hit a lot of balls. I just enjoyed watching her hit them and getting her to focus on the fundamentals of her swing. I am looking forward to many more weekend like that this summer.

Pursuing this farther...

So Asli got back to the Super Mario Bros look-a-like that said he was the best at giving women oral pleasure: (I misspelled moustache on purpose)

Hi,

I wanted to get back to you as soon as possible. I am still interested in pursuing this further. I can't host due to my roomie being kind of uptight about me bringing guys home. She would really freak out if she knew we had met on Craig's List too. I have a car, so it is possible for me to go to your place. Of course I would want to meet somewhere in public for a drink to feel you out first. I hope you understand. I want to keep this an internet only thing right now, so I'm going to just try to do this over email.

I've never been with a guy who had a mustache. I imagine it might tickle, but that can be a good thing. Guess I'll just have to wait and see.

AG

So, here is Rrob's response. It sounds to me like he is probably married which makes it all the more sleezy. I can't believe he would get a hotel room on a whim just to meet some chick who might let him lick her.

hi again...thanks for getting back to me. i cant host right now but we can meet some place and go get a room (on me). i know that doesnt sound romantic but for now thats all we can do. drinks sound good. when is a good time for you, and where would you like to meet? and as for my mustache, i KNOW you will like it!
hope to hear from you soon.

rob

I am beginning to wonder if this is some girl on the other end that is just messing with people, like I think I am doing to Rob.

Craig's List Exchange

So, I decided to take the route of answering a Craig's List ad for free oral sex for a woman from a man. I can't really believe that many women contact these guys, so it'll probably get their hopes up. I chose the following listing:

Original CL Posting

Reply to: anon-67973971@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-04-11, 5:15PM EDT

If you like to reveive oral sex, I'm your man!! I'm the BEST, and can go down on you for as long as you can stand it!! You don't have to reciprocate. I don't even have to take off my clothes...all you have to do is ENJOY!!!! Please be height and weight proportionate. Your pic gets mine.

Posing as some 21 year old girl named Asli Guven (apologies to any real Asli Guvens out there) I replied with the following:

Hi,

I saw your CL posting, and it kind of piqued my interest. I am 5' 4", and about 105 lbs, is this proportional enough for you? I have darker hair (reddish to brown depending on time of year), and blue eyes. I am student at one fo the local universities, and I am just looking for some stress relief. I expect someone to be D/D free. I attached a picture (from my last trip out west to visit some friends) sorry it might not be the sexiest, but hopefully it does me justice. I hope you were serious about sending a picture. Maybe we can meet up?

AG

To which the Craig's List poseter responded:

I dont know what you're talking about...you are VERY sexy!! here is my pic...if you are interested PLEASE let me know...i can give you the relief you need!!!! if you like what you see you can call me...610.203.1331 if i dont answer, please leave a message, or you can
e-mail me back and we can take it from there. this is not the best pic of me, i have lost weight since this picture.

RB

I am thinking that we need to set up a date for these two to meet. I wonder where.

No response yet

I haven't had any responses to share from the Craig's List post below. Maybe tomorrow. Or maybe there isn't as much anonymous internet sex going on as I thought there might be. I know that a friend of a friend paid for a woman to fly from Ohio to Nashville, and they just banged all weekend long. Of course, this is a friend of a friend, so it is all just hearsay. And, let me clarify, I in know way will follow through with the post. It is just there for laughs; to see what is out there. I thought about answering a few of the posts on Craig's List to see what people have to say. Maybe I will do that. I can't imagine what will be in those replies. Well, I can, but in some ways that sickens me.

Messing with Craig's List

I am always amazed at the ads in Craig's List for "Casual Encounters." I wondered what type of responses guys who are seeking women get. So, I created the fictional character below. I'll post replies here.

Hi,
I just got out of a long term relationship with a woman I met in undergrad. I am looking for some no-strings attached (unless you are into that!) fun. I guess what this is, is a no-commitment guarantee, and that doesn't depend on what your definition of "is" is. I am 6'0", 185 lbs, with brown hair and blue eyes. D/D free (most important) woman sought. I'll front any charges related to this encounter (i.e. drinks/hotel).

Please no pros.